i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
