i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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