I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
