Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
