I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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