he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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