Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
