Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
