never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
