I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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