we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
