Got a toothbrush?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
