this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
