dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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