i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have grass duct taped all over my body
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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