Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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