There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
