I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
