she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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