Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
