Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
