you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
