We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
