Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
