okay pat passed out under dana's car
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
