So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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