I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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