would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
