this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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