u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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