It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
