uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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