she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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