DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize