My first STD was from a foam party
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
