let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
