My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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