Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
