Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
