Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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