just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
