Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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