He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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