How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
