Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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