I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
