ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize