If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
