Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
