another moral hangover. fuck.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
