And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
