Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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