how can u be prego again
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Randomize
