ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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