I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
