I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize