He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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