well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
