The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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